Husband: What are you looking at?
Me: They call it Baby Crack on the Bump. We need to buy it.
Husband: Whoa whoa whoa. Baby crack? I don't like the sound of that.
Me: It's a sound and light machine, Husband. It helps the baby sleep.
Husband: Um not gonna happen. Baby crack?? What is it, like a narcolepsy machine? Is this going to make the baby fall asleep at the wheel at age 18 when s/he hears a certain song on the radio?
Me: IT'S A WHITE NOISE MACHINE. YOU NEED TO CHILL OUT.
Husband: There will be no Baby Crack in this house.
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