Watch out, boys!

Me: Hey, Husband, are you going to be scary when guys come to pick up your daughters for dates?

(Pause)

Husband: Well, that's not the right question, because my daughters won't be dating. EVER.

Me: Hahaha, be serious.

Husband: I AM BEING SERIOUS.

Is this baby made of chocolate?

Dear Baby,

You must take after Daddy, because your mom does NOT like chocolate this much! Please stop being such an enabler and making me think I need it. At this rate, you and I will be closer to 300 pounds than 200!

Love,
Mom